Mission Defeation, and the Battle with a slutty Kindergartner.

Potty mouth warning! Potty Mouth warning!

*If you know me at all, you know my filter is non existent. There is a certain beauty in speaking your mind as the thought comes to you. My thoughts are not complete without these colorful naughty words. It's how I roll. (You should know, that I just pulled a Palin and tried to create my own word right there, who knew 'effectance' was not a word?) (everyone knew that? ...fuck) I'm just throwing all this out there as a disclaimer. You just never know with me, and as I sit and type I have no idea of what the subject matter will be. Look- In short, I say fuck A LOT, so there's that factoid for you. Deal.

While I've got your mind so completely interested in this post, and before I lose you. I have a story of My Aspies first weeks of Kindergarten. I've been so proud if him for making friends, and although he doesn't understand certain situations, he's doing SO WELL. He has 2 little boys in our neighborhood that he's buddies with. One of them is in his class. The other boy has befriended a girl in his class named Grace, and this pisses my kid off more than you can possibly understand. He has been coming home asking his Dad how to 'defeat' this girl and her friend stealing mission. We've thought it was sweet, and comical, and normal Kindergarten antics. Then yesterday my kid comes home crushed, absolutely beside himself.

At recess, Grace planted a big smooch on this friend, and my boy had had enough. He yelled at her, and the teacher had to separate them. My boy had to move his clip to yellow, which is a warning on behavior in class. THIS alone is enough to crush my kid!

So he gets home, and I'm talking to him about his day. He's telling me the story and I was trying to figure out exactly why my kid had to be separated from the ones that were kissing.....seems like those two should be separated, right? Well, in preparation of launching his mission to defeat Grace, he screamed

"I'M GONNA KICK YOU WHERE YOUR BALLS SHOULD BE!!!"

for real!!

I wonder if it's a coincidence that I got a conference note in his folder that same day. Just pray that I can hold it together and not laugh at the meeting. It's just that coming out my MY kids mouth, it strikes me as totally hilarious. Absolutely stunning, and I'm kinda proud of him......

"You should be on a diet"

One of these days I'm going to get my ass kicked, or DSHS will show up at my door. I'm just waiting for the day.....I'm convinced it's going to happen.

People with Alzheimer's can loose the ability to know what is politically correct to say in public, OR they lose the ability to give a shit. In any case, I have found myself in some hot water over some comments that have come out of Grammy's mouth recently.

I'll save the other EMP's (Embarrassing Moments in Public) for several other posts but I'll let you in on what happened at the lawyers office on Tuesday.

There is some interesting background here that is way to complicated to go into. The basics are that we needed to hire an Elder care attorney to handle the transfer of POAs and etc from another state to Texas. This process is complicated by several factors that required we meet for a consultation in person.

We were greeted in the lobby by the secretary who offered us coffee or water. Grammy chose coffee and because I love Gram, and I know her usual snirky comments I was able to thwart the usual response to "How do you like your coffee" by interrupting the impending (black like my housekeeper) comment and suggest, no cream please instead. I'm fairy confident that I replied louder and took the attention off of the fact that she still uttered that dastardly comment anyway. Sigh....but the pleasntries continue.....

Our attorney appears and greets us. Grammy is silent, which is normal sometimes. She was patiently listening to the entire meeting, although I knew she was totally lost. Towards the end, I patted her arm and asked if she had any questions for the lawyer.

Grammy said "No, no questions" "I've just been sitting here wondering why she's not on a diet." Holy shit. Really? I just don't understand the insults. (Or why she's never said that me, hello??) But what in the world do you say in that situation?? Inquiring minds need to know!

I turned beat red, and looked at the kind attorney with complete embarrassment and apologised. I was mortified. I gathered my papers to leave, and as Gram stood up she said "I don't know why you have to apologize, it's a fact....She needs a diet."

At this very moment, I wish that I could have shot myself. bang.

Thankfully she does this for a living, and knows to expect the unexpected. I let her know that since our move I've been bringing her everywhere with me since I have no friends I trust to care for her in my absence. and that I'm so so so sorry.

It's highly probable that she'll increase her retainer fee. We'll see.

Quick Overview

Welcome to daBlog. :) I'm Christy as you can see from the sidebar. I've been married to Rob, a Navy Chief, for 11 years. We have 2 amazing kids, Twerp #1 is 9 and is headed into 5th grade. Twerp #2 is 5 and starting kindergarten in the fall. Twerp #2 is an Aspie and will be mentioned a lot in the postings on here. I am also the legal guardian and caretaker of my Grandmother-in law who has Alzheimers. There is no such thing as a typical day here, e.v.e.r.

I decided to start this blog as an outlet, and a way for me acknowledge challenges instead of sweeping them under the rug. There have been days when things get overwelming and I detatch. Or days when I just head back to bed. I'd like to be able to sit down and type, get things off my chest and move on. We'll see if that works out or not.

By no means is this just a blog to complain. Quite the opposite. I've found from other blogs that this can be an incredible way to meet others and share stories or ideas, and I do find a lot of the quirks around this house amusing.

Well, there it is in a nutshell. Hope you'll check back in on my insanity experiment soon! :)